Robert Pirsig once said "To live for some future goal is shallow. It's the sides of the mountains that sustain life." I'm not sure I completely agree with that, but one thing I do know now more than ever - character is forged on a mountain not in the valley. Have you ever climbed a mountain for fun? The view at the top is often a majestic one, but I can't say that climbing mountains is fun. It's hard, no matter how good of shape you're in, climbing up the slope of a mountain is just simply difficult.
The past four years of my life has seemed as though I have been struggling up a mountain to an unknown summit. Through it all I have probably known and experienced the entire pantheon of human emotions. Faith, despair, hope, discouragement, anger, joy - each have had it's place in my mind. However, at the end I have found a new kind of faith. It is a faith that is no longer theory or theology - but rather a state of faith that God has developed through hardship. I truly believe that no matter what, God is still there, patiently guiding me to my summit. I think this new found faith began one early morning while I was driving to a job that paid me very little money, for very physical work while I was still dealing with the effects of chemotherapy. As I was driving I was listening to a worship song. At one point this song says "Savior, He can move mountains..." and began praying that God would move the mountains I was facing. At that moment I heard God whisper to me. It was so clear. It wasn't some reassuring word of encouragement saying the end of my difficulties were near, rather it was simply this; "Phil, I don't move your mountains, I give you the grace to climb them."
I believe this is the reality of life. No matter what, life is going to have obstacles. Some will seem like small detours, while others will feel like insurmountable roadblocks. The ability to weather these storms is what God uses to mold us into the people He wants us to be. So my new found prayers ask for grace and guidance to navigate the narrow paths on the mountains of life rather than asking God to move me to flat ground. Then hopefully at the end of my journey, I will be able to look back on my life and see the beautiful view at the summit, and how far He has brought me.
